Lately, all around me and on the internet, there's been more and more people interested in Korea and in it's culture. That's just awesome, I feel like a hipster, because I knew Korea before it was mainstream and before the arrival of YouTube. Haha, just kidding...but seriously it is great. At the same time, I do feel as if too many are idolizing the country and it's culture as if it is something superior, then put all their energy into imitating their favourite singer or actor. I sometimes hear "I wish I were Korean" from white people and I find it a bit sad...I also went through that phase when I was around 19 years old but as it is a phase it passed. I had to travel all the way to Korea to realize many things, but I also got a lot of disappointment. This is why I wanted to write to all of you who will soon go or plan on going to Korea to study (because I can't really speak to those who go there for work, as I never worked for a korean company...)
How did you get to know Korea?
You better have the answer to that, because you will get asked this question a trillion times. I, like many others nowadays, was really into Kpop of the end of the 90's beginning 2000's. H.O.T, Shinhwa, Baby V.O.X, S.E.S, Boa, Fin.K.L...you name it. I had collections of music videos, posters in my room, ordered CDs from YesAsia...even learned korean to be able to sing the songs of my favourite singers at the local karaoke box. I even filmed myself dancing to their music, all dressed up. Recognize yourself? I'm sure you do, except that maybe instead of Kangta, Taemin is your fantasy. Here's the shocker: you'll have a hard time finding a korean of your age (university age range) who is this intense about the singers you like.
First reality check: in Korea, most people who collect stuff about their favourite singer, know all their birth date and go to Music Bank to see them perform are about 15 years old. Their obsession often comes from a lot of stress and these bands are a way to let go of the tension. Sure, many groups keep their fans for a long time (like Shinhwa...which I am still very fond of) but people in their twenties aren't the ones holding the balloons at concerts. Bummer right? I thought so too. I liked their singers so much, how could they not be more interested in them? They knew who I was talking about, but only knew the songs if they had been a success. Most of the friends I had were listening to american music on a daily basis, or independent singers from Korea who don't get to play on the radio. I'm not saying they don't like Kpop, but in general, it's just a normal thing, songs they hear on the radio...they won't go ballistic like we sometimes do and collect everything about one singer.
What I'm trying to get at is: it is hard to bond with a Korean person over simply your love for their music. They don't think too much about it because it's simply part of their own culture. Be sure though to know a few songs for your karaoke sessions! Still, if you go to karaoke with a mixed group of guys and girls, don't expect the guys to get excited when you start singing some FT Island.
Lastly...most korean clubs don't even play Kpop. I was also disappointed about that at first and I wonder if it has changed since. There are more and more tunes that can be used in clubs in Kpop nowadays, so maybe...
All this above just to say: you have to find a way to make friends with korean people by sharing a passion that isn't about their country but about something deeper than that...
Arts, sports, hobbies
When I first arrived at Yonsei University in 2006 I simply had no idea how I would be able to befriend Koreans. I figured, if I want to speak it well, I better hang out with people from here rather than hang out with other foreigners and never practice korean. At first, I did just that, and it is a normal thing to do. I made two very good friends from Singapore and we had a blast. Still, I was looking for an extra curricular activity at school and turned towards the clubs. The first clubs the school really encouraged us to join was the "Mentors Club". It sounds inviting but from personal experience it wasn't all that great. After a while and hearing from other people's experience, instead of becoming friends with the korean student you were paired with, you mostly ended up meeting them for language exchange...that isn't friendship, it's like work. I think that language exchange pure and simple is a waste of time. The moment two people agree to meet and talk so that they can learn each other's language, no real conversation take place. It's superficial and the person who struggles the most ends up teaching the other his or her language. In this case what often happens is that the foreign student knows very few korean, so the korean student just ends up practicing his or her english more than anything else. You didn't come to be an english teacher, get out of this relationship.
I sound harsh, but I guess it comes from living there and realizing that there are many things I wouldn't have done if I didn't move away from people when I felt it led to nothing. Also, there are way too many people in Korea who think because you are foreign, you will want to teach them english. I'm sorry, not interested, if they want language immersion, they shall go and live abroad. I worked hard to get to Korea, I wasn't going to waste this opportunity because teaching others english was easier than trying to learn their language myself.
That's when I decided to move on and try to find myself a club where I could do something I like. I first went to a Jazz club, then a dance club...but then fell on this Drama club from the engineering department who happened to be promoting their club in a little booklet. I sent an awkward text message to the number appearing on their website and got an answer. They were curious and also very uncomfortable but I went and told them I wanted to act with them. The first two months were awkward, my korean was short but I managed to understand what was going on. I didn't know they were going to become my own little korean family.
I think what made it work is that they barely treated me as a foreigner. We went out, drank and worked on scenes together. The activities we shared went beyond any cultural experience, it was real life, just people sharing the same passion regardless of their skin colour. Only then I believe you can really become friends with someone. On my side, I also asked for them to speak to me only in korean; you just can't be lazy. They became so important to me that I would always try to hang out with them and still today I keep in touch.
The moment where I felt like I had really integrated into their society was these little moments when we just all sat, drank together, and someone said something funny and we all just laughed. They didn't need to say "oh, this is korean humour", no, because there are things that are universal in life. Laughter, sadness, frustration, sickness... You won't become integrated because you can make kim chi or because you dye your hair black.
It's not about becoming korean, because that's impossible. Embrace who you are and share your passion with them and your joy will transcend language and culture.
I really got carried away there, but I speak from the bottom of my heart. Again, not saying you shouldn't learn about traditional stuff while you're there, but don't over do it. If you find real friends, you will learn much more about korean culture than any text book will ever teach you. So don't look for perfectly looking guys in skinny jeans who can dance like gods, because they won't be there for you when you feel homesick.
Live Korea the way it is presented to you, don't force the images you have of it on your experience.
Showing posts with label Korea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Korea. Show all posts
21 August, 2012
12 July, 2012
Going back...to understand why I left
I don't post here often enough and my laziness is the only one to blame. I just don't like my layout anymore, would like something darker, more mature...I'm just not good at making layouts anymore. So here's a little update anyways!
Korea
One week ago, I went back to Korea for the first time in two years. I was very excited to go back to a place where I lived for 4 years. I thought of all the friends I would see, the food I would eat. Of course, most of my memories were coloured with anecdotes and things of the past...things that just aren't there anymore. It felt as if I had just left yesterday, that everything was the same, but I didn't feel the same. I realized that there is crap I put up with back then that I just couldn't put up with anymore...Don't get me wrong, I love Korea and Seoul is my second home, but I just came to the conclusion that leaving in 2010 was a good decision.
First, being treated as a foreigner before being treated as a person really can get on your nerves after a while. When you lived there 4 years, having people repeating "you eat spicy food so well, can you handle chopsticks?, are you an english teacher?" really annoyed me. Second, my dream job is to act and this isn't something I would have been able to achieve in Korea. As much as I would love to be part of a great piece of film in Korea one day, I just know roles for foreigners, especially women, just aren't great...never have I seen a white woman speak fluent korean in a film or tv show and not act as a token foreigner. I guess, in many years, it might happen...that would be so great, but I can always dream haha. I couldn't just stay and wait for it to happen. Also, I just have too much respect for myself to just play something that degrades the image of white women in a country where a lot of people still think negatively of us. So instead of staying in Seoul and be on random tv shows just to entertain people with my "foreign-ness" or become a disgruntle english teacher (I HATE teaching) I thought it is probably better for me to go back...
Going back, I realized that I have made the right choice. I guess I'm lucky to have made the trip and come to this realization. Plus, here in Canada when I say I'm 27 people don't ask me right away why I don't get marry or have kids.
I still wish to, one day, be able to work a little bit in Korea. Like, go for a few months, work on something, then come back. Seoul is just so alive and the food is good. The people are always willing to serve you and treat you like the best customer (except for taxi drivers...). Some of my very good friends are staying there and have a successful life. I guess we all have different destinies (I don't really believe in destiny lol) but I do not believe that because I went there and didn't make it, that it is a failure. Very often I get these questions "why did you leave? Girls from the tv show are on tv a lot, why don't you do it too?" but answering them would be way too long. The answer "I want to be appreciated for something I do, some piece of art, not just because I was born with blond hair and white skin" is too long and would just be dismissed anyways.
This post looks more like a diary, but I guess being on an airplane for 13 hours really makes you think.
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| Because it's summer - 팥빙수 |
17 August, 2011
The “Misuda Adventure” Part 3
This third part was long due and this time I won’t give you any bad excuse except that I’ve been very lazy hehe. Since my cat is now healthy I guess I can get back at writing!!
….
Life went back to normal and all I could look forward was to watch the show on TV. I had planned a trip to Sokcho, which is a coastal city on the east shore of Korea, with Vivian and Janelle, another Singapore friend. We decided that we would watch the show from the motel room in Sokcho. We woke up on the Saturday morning of chuseok and set the TV to KBS2. For the first time, I watched myself on TV for a whole hour. It was quite embarrassing. First of all, you could totally tell that I was nervous and that my Korean sucked. My friend Vivian was quite disappointed to see that all of her lines, except her presentation had been cut. We knew so little of show business we didn’t know what to expect. Still, we just laughed it off and told ourselves that probably very few people watched the show (oh dear…). It wasn’t THAT bad, but when you see yourself on camera or record your voice, aren’t you always the worst critic?
After the show, I didn’t hear much about it. Of course no one would recognize me after only one show and I wasn’t expecting it either. I still wished for similar opportunities to come by though. Then, about 10 days later, I got another call from the writers of the show, basically saying “The show attracted a lot of attention, so much that we decided to make it a weekly show. Would you like to be part of it?” Of course I said yes right away and became very ecstatic. Not only would it mean that I would get to be in the studio every week, but it would also provide me with some financial support!
A few days later, we met up for some reunions and interviews. I don’t remember exactly how the preparation for the first show went on, but it did take a while; the first show wouldn’t air until the end of November 2006. We had to go through a photo shooting for the opening of the show and it’s promotion. If I had known that these pictures would haunt us for years to come…I would have tried to pose better. Still, I didn’t have the power over my outfit so…
For months every time an article about me or the other girls would come out, they would use pictures from this photo shoot…Eva and I became very scared that they would use these pictures and when the writers would do it in the future, we could only start laughing. I bitch a lot about the pictures, but when I look at them I think it’s nice to see us so innocent, no idea about television fame, just really happy to be part of something bigger than us.
We shot the first show sometime in November, on a Saturday. The show was to be aired every Sunday morning around 11AM, if I remember correctly. Somehow, I have very few memories of the shooting of the first show. I know I preferred my clothes, but I think the fact that my Korean still wasn’t very fluent I had a hard time following, hence I can’t remember well what has been said and done. Plus, it’s been 5 years!! I remember that I said some lines that fell flat and for the first time I experienced the awful feeling of getting no reaction from the public. It’s very embarrassing but with time I learned to not take it personally and to just leave it behind and move on to another subject. Or just say things differently to get people’s attention. Storytelling skills really need to be learned through experience. Especially in a foreign language, you can’t tell a story the same way you do in your native language. It took me a while, but I know that my listening and my perseverance are what made me stay in the show for so long, because I could capture people’s attention with what I said, certainly not because I was the pretty one. Other girls had that role ; )
But I’m digressing. On that day, someone I really wanted to meet was in the panel.
Yes, it is 김종민 Kim Jong Min from the group Koyote. I had watched him in variety shows online while I was in Canada and just loved his crazy personality. I was glad to meet him, but then realized that he is a stranger, just another human being, he doesn’t know me and even though I watched him on shows…I don’t have much to tell him. There’s no way to make a meeting with a celebrity NOT awkward. You either act too cool and look like a pretentious person who doesn’t care or you’re shy and laugh awkwardly. I think it’s because there is no socially established way to deal with these meetings. I took a lot of pictures with singers and actors during the first two years of the show and after a while we mostly all stopped doing it, unless it’s someone we REALLY wanted to meet. The novelty just wore off. I won’t post all the pictures I took with celebrities unless I have something interesting about it. I don’t want to write this blog about celebrity meetings teehee ^^
More importantly, I think the people I met behind the camera are what made this experience so memorable. I met awesome girls from all around the world and some very kind staff.
Of course, there were some people from the staff with whom I could never create a close bound, but that is the case with anyone in whatever social situation.
When the first show was a wrap, we already got prepared for the second show, but then things got complicated for me. Later that week I received a call telling me that I couldn’t take part in the show because of visa issues…I was very very very disappointed…
To be continued
04 April, 2011
The “Misuda Adventure" Part 2
September of 2006 went by fast. School had started and I quickly realized that school would be quite easy as the program for exchange students really doesn’t aim high (And I’m not talking about UIC, which is a totally different branch) I was eager to do the show and I was slowly finding my place at school, especially by joining a drama club, about which I’ll probably write in other posts. I remember one day, I was in the drama club room and I got a call from one of the show writers. They were getting everything ready for the show and they were trying to add a touch of entertainment, so she asked me if I could sing a song. I told her I’d like to sing “달” (Moon) by 박정현 (Park Jung Hyun or Lena Park). I was nervous and I chose a verse and a chorus to sing. It isn’t an easy song to sing but if I adjust it to my voice, it’s fine. For those who are curious, listen and watch here.
Unfortunately for me, I didn’t get to sing this song. A few days after suggesting this piece, I received another phone call from the writers. They were asking me if I could dance. I said yes, why not. Then they asked me what kind of dance I could do. Since I was thinking about normal club music I simply said “Eum…Hip hop?!” You have to remember that I was trying to make myself understood with a really limited knowledge of the Korean language. I let it be, without asking too many questions…
D-day arrived. Vivian, Clara and I happily missed a day of school and all went together towards the KBS annex situated on Yeoui-do, a little island that many Koreans like to call the “Manhattan of Seoul”, since a lot of companies have their offices there and because most of the television stations built their studios there. It is also the island where you can find the national assembly. Of course, it is far from being Manhattan, but I still understand where the comparison come from. My memories are a bit blurry, but I still remember a few anecdotes from the day.
The first step was to get make up and hair done. I must say that I was very excited to get pampered like that. Not every day do you get your make up done by a professional! After, we had to get dressed and this is where the mini-drama started. One of the writers was there and she started talking about my dance. She asked me what I prepared and if I needed pants to dance. I looked at her with big confused eyes. She thought I would do a hip hop choreography but I will still convinced that I would sing! Then she told me “No, you’re going to dance, there are two other girls who will sing. Your song was too slow, too dramatic”. I was very disappointed…I had prepared myself. I really wanted to sing on TV and I felt as if my only chance was fading away. I thought “They could of called me and ask me to change my song to another more up-beat one”, but no. It was too late. In the end I was still lucky to end up with a decent black dress. I was satisfied enough. As for Vivian, it was another story. She usually wore boyish, relaxed clothing so she really wasn’t digging her pure feminine look!
Maybe from an outsider’s point of view, all of this seems very superficial, but the truth is, TV is a really superficial business most of the time. We all wanted to project a certain image of ourselves because for some girls and me, we had imagined this situation in our most crazy teenage girl dreams. So no wonder I got disappointed since my expectations were so high.
Still, some great stuff happened on that day. Vivian was very glad to meet a girl called Eva Popiel, an English-Japanese girl who had previously worked on a show called Full House with none other than the rising stars of the time, Super Junior. As Vivian was a fan of the group with the most members in Korea, she was very pleased with her meeting with Eva. As for me, I hadn’t seen the show, but I still took a picture with her.
Each of us was assigned a seat and a number. I was number 3, so I got seated in the front. It was probably to give me space to go out and dance my hip hop (facepalm…) In the end, it was a really good seat for me, but sadly, Vivian got seated in the back.
The shooting started and I don’t really remember what subjects we covered. We talked about food, clubs, Korean guys…I only understood like about 30% of it. I got the chance to talk a few times but to be honest I don’t dare watching the video of this show. It makes me uncomfortable to see myself being so shy. The only time I look comfortable is when I stood up to dance (because I DID dance, but just some improvisation dance) with 천명훈 (Cheon Myung Hoon) a singer from the group NRG. I didn’t know the other guests for our show, but it was to be expected: All the singers I liked were in transition and weren’t recording any albums and many were heading for the army! I was still satisfied with the whole thing, but I told myself that only a few people would watch this show…eum…?
After the shooting, we went drinking together in a bar near the studio and kept contact with the writers and producers. I really wanted to do more. It was back to student life for me!
To be continued…
27 March, 2011
Remembering 46 South Korean sailors…
A year ago on March 26th, 46 South Korean sailors lost their lives when their ship, the Cheonan, was attacked by a missile shot by the North Korean army. Although North Korea still claims innocence over that incident, I strongly believe they are only playing the victim, as they always do.
I remember, I was still in Korea and was devastated by the news. As I had been in a relationship with a guy who ended up going to the army (not the navy) I can only imagine the pain one would feel upon hearing that her boyfriend, or son, or husband, died at sea, from a North Korean attack. The pain, the desperation, they would haunt me for months. These 46 lives represent 46 families, 46 groups of friends…This is probably the drama of more than a thousand persons. As everyone in South Korea knows someone who is in the army, this incident shook up the entire nation. In South Korea, military service is mandatory for about 2 years. Any healthy man must go unless he’s got a really good reason (or some really good contacts). It is very sad that they had to die while doing a work that, although they didn’t disagree with, they didn’t choose to do…it was forced upon them for most of them, because of their sex and because there is a crazy dictator living a few kilometres north from them.
Let’s take a moment today to remember the lives of these 46 sailors who right now would have mostly all finished their military service and would be making others happy…
24 March, 2011
The “Misuda Adventure” Part 1
Misuda? What type of alcohol is that? You might wonder…
Misuda is short for “Minyeodeului Suda” (미녀들의수다) a Korean talk show which roughly translates as “Chit chat of the beauties”. The show aired from October 2006 through April 2010. It’s concept: 16 foreign women who all speak Korean, from beginner to expert. The subjects: anything that is discussable on Korean TV! Presented on KBS2, the national channel of South Korea, Misuda became a phenomenon often hated but also greatly loved by the South Koreans. I was a part of this great adventure, but it definitely didn’t look like it was going to be a success from the beginning…
In August of 2006, I was packing my bags for a complete year of study abroad in South Korea. Excited as a little girl on Christmas, I was also very scared, but a good scare. I had been into Korean pop culture for so many years that I just couldn’t wait to actualize my dream of living for a year in Seoul, the capital city of South Korea. I knew so many singers and their song lyrics, that I probably came off as a real freak…but I was very passionate about it. Also, I watched a bunch of Korean soap operas and had learned the “hangeul”, the Korean alphabet, so that I could sing my favourite songs at the Montreal Korean karaoke. I think I was ready.
Of course, when I got there it was another story…a country is never EXACTLY like it is represented in its pop culture and even if I knew that, I was still a little shocked! At first it felt as if the city was very harsh and loud (Seoul is definitely a city that never sleeps and even if at first I got intimidated by it, in the end it became natural and I just loved it!). Anyway, I’ll keep my impressions of Korea for another post, let’s go on with the Misuda adventure.
I don’t remember exactly when the email from school came , but I know it was in the first 3 weeks of my stay in Korea because I was still living at my friend’s house. I didn’t even have a cell phone! So I was at home and got an email from the school, the Mentors Club, which is a group that pairs Korean students with foreign students for language exchanges. The email said that we had an opportunity to be on TV for a one time special show for the holidays and that it was open to foreigners, even the ones who didn’t speak Korean. I was very surprised and eager to know more, because most of my references came from Korean TV. A little later in the week, another email came, saying “Oh, well actually, you have to be a girl, and you have to speak Korean, sorry…” I was now insecure. My Korean was pretty limited. I knew how to say “I love you” in a hundred ways, thanks to Korean power ballads, but I couldn’t really express myself in complete sentences. Still, I gave it a shot and called the number of the writer at KBS. I don’t remember the conversation, but I actually managed to get myself an interview with them. Luckily for me, the TV station was very close from my friend’s house. I was all set and ready to meet the script writers…
As I went in the office of the writers, I saw a bunch of Asian girls getting out. I was told later that they were from Mongolia…they never appeared on the show…So I sat with the chief writer and the other writers looking at me around the desk. It was intimidating, but I really wanted to be on TV (ah, the things you’ll do). She asked a bunch of questions but as I didn’t have a lot of anecdotes in Korea, all I could tell her were my first impressions. I think what killed them is when I started to enumerate all the singers I knew, they just didn’t believe it…I was like this encyclopedia of Kpop. That’s probably what got me in, as most white foreigners knew very little about Kpop back then.
School started a little afterwards and I got the phone call telling me I’d be shooting the show with them at the end of September so that the show could be aired on the Korean Thanksgiving, which on that year was at the beginning of the month of October. I was very excited and also learned that two girls from my Korean class were to be on it too, Clara from the US and Vivian from Singapore. I would end up being very close with the latter. Before the shooting, we would have to meet up with the production team and answer many questions on the phone so that they could build up a script and an outline for the show. I suddenly felt that my Korean was improving every day and that I’d have no problem at the meeting…but god was I wrong.
The first meeting we had with the team and the other girls from the show was a disaster for Vivian and I. We were sitting in a room and the producers and writers would ask questions to us but our Korean was so limited that we ended up being very silent in front of the other girls who had been in Korea for 2, 3,4 some even 10 years! After that the whole idea of going on TV seemed like a bad idea…but I consoled myself by thinking how awesome it would be to meet celebrities. How shallow ;)
Fortunately for us on the day of the meeting, the producer got us a spot in the audience of that day’s Music Bank, a weekly music show showing off the latest Korean songs, sometimes live, sometimes lipsynced. I had fun, it did break the magic a little bit, but I got to see Koyote, a dance/pop group with a really goofy but charming singer, Kim Jong Min.
I took a few photos, which was obviously prohibited but none of the middle school girls seemed to care either. On that day The Trax, Lee SeungGi, Park Jung Ah, Lim Jeong Hee, Paran and some others came on. It was a nice first look at Korean celebrities from up close and at that time I felt like I was on the moon. When I look at it now, it feels like I was over exaggerating, but it was something I was very passionate about. I just had no idea that I would end up on the other side of the camera for many years…
Tune in for part 2! My first experience on a Korean TV set…full of drama, as usual!
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Showing posts with label Korea. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Korea. Show all posts
21 August, 2012
Korea isn't a Kpop music video set
Lately, all around me and on the internet, there's been more and more people interested in Korea and in it's culture. That's just awesome, I feel like a hipster, because I knew Korea before it was mainstream and before the arrival of YouTube. Haha, just kidding...but seriously it is great. At the same time, I do feel as if too many are idolizing the country and it's culture as if it is something superior, then put all their energy into imitating their favourite singer or actor. I sometimes hear "I wish I were Korean" from white people and I find it a bit sad...I also went through that phase when I was around 19 years old but as it is a phase it passed. I had to travel all the way to Korea to realize many things, but I also got a lot of disappointment. This is why I wanted to write to all of you who will soon go or plan on going to Korea to study (because I can't really speak to those who go there for work, as I never worked for a korean company...)
How did you get to know Korea?
You better have the answer to that, because you will get asked this question a trillion times. I, like many others nowadays, was really into Kpop of the end of the 90's beginning 2000's. H.O.T, Shinhwa, Baby V.O.X, S.E.S, Boa, Fin.K.L...you name it. I had collections of music videos, posters in my room, ordered CDs from YesAsia...even learned korean to be able to sing the songs of my favourite singers at the local karaoke box. I even filmed myself dancing to their music, all dressed up. Recognize yourself? I'm sure you do, except that maybe instead of Kangta, Taemin is your fantasy. Here's the shocker: you'll have a hard time finding a korean of your age (university age range) who is this intense about the singers you like.
First reality check: in Korea, most people who collect stuff about their favourite singer, know all their birth date and go to Music Bank to see them perform are about 15 years old. Their obsession often comes from a lot of stress and these bands are a way to let go of the tension. Sure, many groups keep their fans for a long time (like Shinhwa...which I am still very fond of) but people in their twenties aren't the ones holding the balloons at concerts. Bummer right? I thought so too. I liked their singers so much, how could they not be more interested in them? They knew who I was talking about, but only knew the songs if they had been a success. Most of the friends I had were listening to american music on a daily basis, or independent singers from Korea who don't get to play on the radio. I'm not saying they don't like Kpop, but in general, it's just a normal thing, songs they hear on the radio...they won't go ballistic like we sometimes do and collect everything about one singer.
What I'm trying to get at is: it is hard to bond with a Korean person over simply your love for their music. They don't think too much about it because it's simply part of their own culture. Be sure though to know a few songs for your karaoke sessions! Still, if you go to karaoke with a mixed group of guys and girls, don't expect the guys to get excited when you start singing some FT Island.
Lastly...most korean clubs don't even play Kpop. I was also disappointed about that at first and I wonder if it has changed since. There are more and more tunes that can be used in clubs in Kpop nowadays, so maybe...
All this above just to say: you have to find a way to make friends with korean people by sharing a passion that isn't about their country but about something deeper than that...
Arts, sports, hobbies
When I first arrived at Yonsei University in 2006 I simply had no idea how I would be able to befriend Koreans. I figured, if I want to speak it well, I better hang out with people from here rather than hang out with other foreigners and never practice korean. At first, I did just that, and it is a normal thing to do. I made two very good friends from Singapore and we had a blast. Still, I was looking for an extra curricular activity at school and turned towards the clubs. The first clubs the school really encouraged us to join was the "Mentors Club". It sounds inviting but from personal experience it wasn't all that great. After a while and hearing from other people's experience, instead of becoming friends with the korean student you were paired with, you mostly ended up meeting them for language exchange...that isn't friendship, it's like work. I think that language exchange pure and simple is a waste of time. The moment two people agree to meet and talk so that they can learn each other's language, no real conversation take place. It's superficial and the person who struggles the most ends up teaching the other his or her language. In this case what often happens is that the foreign student knows very few korean, so the korean student just ends up practicing his or her english more than anything else. You didn't come to be an english teacher, get out of this relationship.
I sound harsh, but I guess it comes from living there and realizing that there are many things I wouldn't have done if I didn't move away from people when I felt it led to nothing. Also, there are way too many people in Korea who think because you are foreign, you will want to teach them english. I'm sorry, not interested, if they want language immersion, they shall go and live abroad. I worked hard to get to Korea, I wasn't going to waste this opportunity because teaching others english was easier than trying to learn their language myself.
That's when I decided to move on and try to find myself a club where I could do something I like. I first went to a Jazz club, then a dance club...but then fell on this Drama club from the engineering department who happened to be promoting their club in a little booklet. I sent an awkward text message to the number appearing on their website and got an answer. They were curious and also very uncomfortable but I went and told them I wanted to act with them. The first two months were awkward, my korean was short but I managed to understand what was going on. I didn't know they were going to become my own little korean family.
I think what made it work is that they barely treated me as a foreigner. We went out, drank and worked on scenes together. The activities we shared went beyond any cultural experience, it was real life, just people sharing the same passion regardless of their skin colour. Only then I believe you can really become friends with someone. On my side, I also asked for them to speak to me only in korean; you just can't be lazy. They became so important to me that I would always try to hang out with them and still today I keep in touch.
The moment where I felt like I had really integrated into their society was these little moments when we just all sat, drank together, and someone said something funny and we all just laughed. They didn't need to say "oh, this is korean humour", no, because there are things that are universal in life. Laughter, sadness, frustration, sickness... You won't become integrated because you can make kim chi or because you dye your hair black.
It's not about becoming korean, because that's impossible. Embrace who you are and share your passion with them and your joy will transcend language and culture.
I really got carried away there, but I speak from the bottom of my heart. Again, not saying you shouldn't learn about traditional stuff while you're there, but don't over do it. If you find real friends, you will learn much more about korean culture than any text book will ever teach you. So don't look for perfectly looking guys in skinny jeans who can dance like gods, because they won't be there for you when you feel homesick.
Live Korea the way it is presented to you, don't force the images you have of it on your experience.
How did you get to know Korea?
You better have the answer to that, because you will get asked this question a trillion times. I, like many others nowadays, was really into Kpop of the end of the 90's beginning 2000's. H.O.T, Shinhwa, Baby V.O.X, S.E.S, Boa, Fin.K.L...you name it. I had collections of music videos, posters in my room, ordered CDs from YesAsia...even learned korean to be able to sing the songs of my favourite singers at the local karaoke box. I even filmed myself dancing to their music, all dressed up. Recognize yourself? I'm sure you do, except that maybe instead of Kangta, Taemin is your fantasy. Here's the shocker: you'll have a hard time finding a korean of your age (university age range) who is this intense about the singers you like.
First reality check: in Korea, most people who collect stuff about their favourite singer, know all their birth date and go to Music Bank to see them perform are about 15 years old. Their obsession often comes from a lot of stress and these bands are a way to let go of the tension. Sure, many groups keep their fans for a long time (like Shinhwa...which I am still very fond of) but people in their twenties aren't the ones holding the balloons at concerts. Bummer right? I thought so too. I liked their singers so much, how could they not be more interested in them? They knew who I was talking about, but only knew the songs if they had been a success. Most of the friends I had were listening to american music on a daily basis, or independent singers from Korea who don't get to play on the radio. I'm not saying they don't like Kpop, but in general, it's just a normal thing, songs they hear on the radio...they won't go ballistic like we sometimes do and collect everything about one singer.
What I'm trying to get at is: it is hard to bond with a Korean person over simply your love for their music. They don't think too much about it because it's simply part of their own culture. Be sure though to know a few songs for your karaoke sessions! Still, if you go to karaoke with a mixed group of guys and girls, don't expect the guys to get excited when you start singing some FT Island.
Lastly...most korean clubs don't even play Kpop. I was also disappointed about that at first and I wonder if it has changed since. There are more and more tunes that can be used in clubs in Kpop nowadays, so maybe...
All this above just to say: you have to find a way to make friends with korean people by sharing a passion that isn't about their country but about something deeper than that...
Arts, sports, hobbies
When I first arrived at Yonsei University in 2006 I simply had no idea how I would be able to befriend Koreans. I figured, if I want to speak it well, I better hang out with people from here rather than hang out with other foreigners and never practice korean. At first, I did just that, and it is a normal thing to do. I made two very good friends from Singapore and we had a blast. Still, I was looking for an extra curricular activity at school and turned towards the clubs. The first clubs the school really encouraged us to join was the "Mentors Club". It sounds inviting but from personal experience it wasn't all that great. After a while and hearing from other people's experience, instead of becoming friends with the korean student you were paired with, you mostly ended up meeting them for language exchange...that isn't friendship, it's like work. I think that language exchange pure and simple is a waste of time. The moment two people agree to meet and talk so that they can learn each other's language, no real conversation take place. It's superficial and the person who struggles the most ends up teaching the other his or her language. In this case what often happens is that the foreign student knows very few korean, so the korean student just ends up practicing his or her english more than anything else. You didn't come to be an english teacher, get out of this relationship.
I sound harsh, but I guess it comes from living there and realizing that there are many things I wouldn't have done if I didn't move away from people when I felt it led to nothing. Also, there are way too many people in Korea who think because you are foreign, you will want to teach them english. I'm sorry, not interested, if they want language immersion, they shall go and live abroad. I worked hard to get to Korea, I wasn't going to waste this opportunity because teaching others english was easier than trying to learn their language myself.
That's when I decided to move on and try to find myself a club where I could do something I like. I first went to a Jazz club, then a dance club...but then fell on this Drama club from the engineering department who happened to be promoting their club in a little booklet. I sent an awkward text message to the number appearing on their website and got an answer. They were curious and also very uncomfortable but I went and told them I wanted to act with them. The first two months were awkward, my korean was short but I managed to understand what was going on. I didn't know they were going to become my own little korean family.
I think what made it work is that they barely treated me as a foreigner. We went out, drank and worked on scenes together. The activities we shared went beyond any cultural experience, it was real life, just people sharing the same passion regardless of their skin colour. Only then I believe you can really become friends with someone. On my side, I also asked for them to speak to me only in korean; you just can't be lazy. They became so important to me that I would always try to hang out with them and still today I keep in touch.
The moment where I felt like I had really integrated into their society was these little moments when we just all sat, drank together, and someone said something funny and we all just laughed. They didn't need to say "oh, this is korean humour", no, because there are things that are universal in life. Laughter, sadness, frustration, sickness... You won't become integrated because you can make kim chi or because you dye your hair black.
It's not about becoming korean, because that's impossible. Embrace who you are and share your passion with them and your joy will transcend language and culture.
I really got carried away there, but I speak from the bottom of my heart. Again, not saying you shouldn't learn about traditional stuff while you're there, but don't over do it. If you find real friends, you will learn much more about korean culture than any text book will ever teach you. So don't look for perfectly looking guys in skinny jeans who can dance like gods, because they won't be there for you when you feel homesick.
Live Korea the way it is presented to you, don't force the images you have of it on your experience.
12 July, 2012
Going back...to understand why I left
I don't post here often enough and my laziness is the only one to blame. I just don't like my layout anymore, would like something darker, more mature...I'm just not good at making layouts anymore. So here's a little update anyways!
Korea
One week ago, I went back to Korea for the first time in two years. I was very excited to go back to a place where I lived for 4 years. I thought of all the friends I would see, the food I would eat. Of course, most of my memories were coloured with anecdotes and things of the past...things that just aren't there anymore. It felt as if I had just left yesterday, that everything was the same, but I didn't feel the same. I realized that there is crap I put up with back then that I just couldn't put up with anymore...Don't get me wrong, I love Korea and Seoul is my second home, but I just came to the conclusion that leaving in 2010 was a good decision.
First, being treated as a foreigner before being treated as a person really can get on your nerves after a while. When you lived there 4 years, having people repeating "you eat spicy food so well, can you handle chopsticks?, are you an english teacher?" really annoyed me. Second, my dream job is to act and this isn't something I would have been able to achieve in Korea. As much as I would love to be part of a great piece of film in Korea one day, I just know roles for foreigners, especially women, just aren't great...never have I seen a white woman speak fluent korean in a film or tv show and not act as a token foreigner. I guess, in many years, it might happen...that would be so great, but I can always dream haha. I couldn't just stay and wait for it to happen. Also, I just have too much respect for myself to just play something that degrades the image of white women in a country where a lot of people still think negatively of us. So instead of staying in Seoul and be on random tv shows just to entertain people with my "foreign-ness" or become a disgruntle english teacher (I HATE teaching) I thought it is probably better for me to go back...
Going back, I realized that I have made the right choice. I guess I'm lucky to have made the trip and come to this realization. Plus, here in Canada when I say I'm 27 people don't ask me right away why I don't get marry or have kids.
I still wish to, one day, be able to work a little bit in Korea. Like, go for a few months, work on something, then come back. Seoul is just so alive and the food is good. The people are always willing to serve you and treat you like the best customer (except for taxi drivers...). Some of my very good friends are staying there and have a successful life. I guess we all have different destinies (I don't really believe in destiny lol) but I do not believe that because I went there and didn't make it, that it is a failure. Very often I get these questions "why did you leave? Girls from the tv show are on tv a lot, why don't you do it too?" but answering them would be way too long. The answer "I want to be appreciated for something I do, some piece of art, not just because I was born with blond hair and white skin" is too long and would just be dismissed anyways.
This post looks more like a diary, but I guess being on an airplane for 13 hours really makes you think.
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| Because it's summer - 팥빙수 |
17 August, 2011
The “Misuda Adventure” Part 3
This third part was long due and this time I won’t give you any bad excuse except that I’ve been very lazy hehe. Since my cat is now healthy I guess I can get back at writing!!
….
Life went back to normal and all I could look forward was to watch the show on TV. I had planned a trip to Sokcho, which is a coastal city on the east shore of Korea, with Vivian and Janelle, another Singapore friend. We decided that we would watch the show from the motel room in Sokcho. We woke up on the Saturday morning of chuseok and set the TV to KBS2. For the first time, I watched myself on TV for a whole hour. It was quite embarrassing. First of all, you could totally tell that I was nervous and that my Korean sucked. My friend Vivian was quite disappointed to see that all of her lines, except her presentation had been cut. We knew so little of show business we didn’t know what to expect. Still, we just laughed it off and told ourselves that probably very few people watched the show (oh dear…). It wasn’t THAT bad, but when you see yourself on camera or record your voice, aren’t you always the worst critic?
After the show, I didn’t hear much about it. Of course no one would recognize me after only one show and I wasn’t expecting it either. I still wished for similar opportunities to come by though. Then, about 10 days later, I got another call from the writers of the show, basically saying “The show attracted a lot of attention, so much that we decided to make it a weekly show. Would you like to be part of it?” Of course I said yes right away and became very ecstatic. Not only would it mean that I would get to be in the studio every week, but it would also provide me with some financial support!
A few days later, we met up for some reunions and interviews. I don’t remember exactly how the preparation for the first show went on, but it did take a while; the first show wouldn’t air until the end of November 2006. We had to go through a photo shooting for the opening of the show and it’s promotion. If I had known that these pictures would haunt us for years to come…I would have tried to pose better. Still, I didn’t have the power over my outfit so…
For months every time an article about me or the other girls would come out, they would use pictures from this photo shoot…Eva and I became very scared that they would use these pictures and when the writers would do it in the future, we could only start laughing. I bitch a lot about the pictures, but when I look at them I think it’s nice to see us so innocent, no idea about television fame, just really happy to be part of something bigger than us.
We shot the first show sometime in November, on a Saturday. The show was to be aired every Sunday morning around 11AM, if I remember correctly. Somehow, I have very few memories of the shooting of the first show. I know I preferred my clothes, but I think the fact that my Korean still wasn’t very fluent I had a hard time following, hence I can’t remember well what has been said and done. Plus, it’s been 5 years!! I remember that I said some lines that fell flat and for the first time I experienced the awful feeling of getting no reaction from the public. It’s very embarrassing but with time I learned to not take it personally and to just leave it behind and move on to another subject. Or just say things differently to get people’s attention. Storytelling skills really need to be learned through experience. Especially in a foreign language, you can’t tell a story the same way you do in your native language. It took me a while, but I know that my listening and my perseverance are what made me stay in the show for so long, because I could capture people’s attention with what I said, certainly not because I was the pretty one. Other girls had that role ; )
But I’m digressing. On that day, someone I really wanted to meet was in the panel.
Yes, it is 김종민 Kim Jong Min from the group Koyote. I had watched him in variety shows online while I was in Canada and just loved his crazy personality. I was glad to meet him, but then realized that he is a stranger, just another human being, he doesn’t know me and even though I watched him on shows…I don’t have much to tell him. There’s no way to make a meeting with a celebrity NOT awkward. You either act too cool and look like a pretentious person who doesn’t care or you’re shy and laugh awkwardly. I think it’s because there is no socially established way to deal with these meetings. I took a lot of pictures with singers and actors during the first two years of the show and after a while we mostly all stopped doing it, unless it’s someone we REALLY wanted to meet. The novelty just wore off. I won’t post all the pictures I took with celebrities unless I have something interesting about it. I don’t want to write this blog about celebrity meetings teehee ^^
More importantly, I think the people I met behind the camera are what made this experience so memorable. I met awesome girls from all around the world and some very kind staff.
Of course, there were some people from the staff with whom I could never create a close bound, but that is the case with anyone in whatever social situation.
When the first show was a wrap, we already got prepared for the second show, but then things got complicated for me. Later that week I received a call telling me that I couldn’t take part in the show because of visa issues…I was very very very disappointed…
To be continued
04 April, 2011
The “Misuda Adventure" Part 2
September of 2006 went by fast. School had started and I quickly realized that school would be quite easy as the program for exchange students really doesn’t aim high (And I’m not talking about UIC, which is a totally different branch) I was eager to do the show and I was slowly finding my place at school, especially by joining a drama club, about which I’ll probably write in other posts. I remember one day, I was in the drama club room and I got a call from one of the show writers. They were getting everything ready for the show and they were trying to add a touch of entertainment, so she asked me if I could sing a song. I told her I’d like to sing “달” (Moon) by 박정현 (Park Jung Hyun or Lena Park). I was nervous and I chose a verse and a chorus to sing. It isn’t an easy song to sing but if I adjust it to my voice, it’s fine. For those who are curious, listen and watch here.
Unfortunately for me, I didn’t get to sing this song. A few days after suggesting this piece, I received another phone call from the writers. They were asking me if I could dance. I said yes, why not. Then they asked me what kind of dance I could do. Since I was thinking about normal club music I simply said “Eum…Hip hop?!” You have to remember that I was trying to make myself understood with a really limited knowledge of the Korean language. I let it be, without asking too many questions…
D-day arrived. Vivian, Clara and I happily missed a day of school and all went together towards the KBS annex situated on Yeoui-do, a little island that many Koreans like to call the “Manhattan of Seoul”, since a lot of companies have their offices there and because most of the television stations built their studios there. It is also the island where you can find the national assembly. Of course, it is far from being Manhattan, but I still understand where the comparison come from. My memories are a bit blurry, but I still remember a few anecdotes from the day.
The first step was to get make up and hair done. I must say that I was very excited to get pampered like that. Not every day do you get your make up done by a professional! After, we had to get dressed and this is where the mini-drama started. One of the writers was there and she started talking about my dance. She asked me what I prepared and if I needed pants to dance. I looked at her with big confused eyes. She thought I would do a hip hop choreography but I will still convinced that I would sing! Then she told me “No, you’re going to dance, there are two other girls who will sing. Your song was too slow, too dramatic”. I was very disappointed…I had prepared myself. I really wanted to sing on TV and I felt as if my only chance was fading away. I thought “They could of called me and ask me to change my song to another more up-beat one”, but no. It was too late. In the end I was still lucky to end up with a decent black dress. I was satisfied enough. As for Vivian, it was another story. She usually wore boyish, relaxed clothing so she really wasn’t digging her pure feminine look!
Maybe from an outsider’s point of view, all of this seems very superficial, but the truth is, TV is a really superficial business most of the time. We all wanted to project a certain image of ourselves because for some girls and me, we had imagined this situation in our most crazy teenage girl dreams. So no wonder I got disappointed since my expectations were so high.
Still, some great stuff happened on that day. Vivian was very glad to meet a girl called Eva Popiel, an English-Japanese girl who had previously worked on a show called Full House with none other than the rising stars of the time, Super Junior. As Vivian was a fan of the group with the most members in Korea, she was very pleased with her meeting with Eva. As for me, I hadn’t seen the show, but I still took a picture with her.
Each of us was assigned a seat and a number. I was number 3, so I got seated in the front. It was probably to give me space to go out and dance my hip hop (facepalm…) In the end, it was a really good seat for me, but sadly, Vivian got seated in the back.
The shooting started and I don’t really remember what subjects we covered. We talked about food, clubs, Korean guys…I only understood like about 30% of it. I got the chance to talk a few times but to be honest I don’t dare watching the video of this show. It makes me uncomfortable to see myself being so shy. The only time I look comfortable is when I stood up to dance (because I DID dance, but just some improvisation dance) with 천명훈 (Cheon Myung Hoon) a singer from the group NRG. I didn’t know the other guests for our show, but it was to be expected: All the singers I liked were in transition and weren’t recording any albums and many were heading for the army! I was still satisfied with the whole thing, but I told myself that only a few people would watch this show…eum…?
After the shooting, we went drinking together in a bar near the studio and kept contact with the writers and producers. I really wanted to do more. It was back to student life for me!
To be continued…
27 March, 2011
Remembering 46 South Korean sailors…
A year ago on March 26th, 46 South Korean sailors lost their lives when their ship, the Cheonan, was attacked by a missile shot by the North Korean army. Although North Korea still claims innocence over that incident, I strongly believe they are only playing the victim, as they always do.
I remember, I was still in Korea and was devastated by the news. As I had been in a relationship with a guy who ended up going to the army (not the navy) I can only imagine the pain one would feel upon hearing that her boyfriend, or son, or husband, died at sea, from a North Korean attack. The pain, the desperation, they would haunt me for months. These 46 lives represent 46 families, 46 groups of friends…This is probably the drama of more than a thousand persons. As everyone in South Korea knows someone who is in the army, this incident shook up the entire nation. In South Korea, military service is mandatory for about 2 years. Any healthy man must go unless he’s got a really good reason (or some really good contacts). It is very sad that they had to die while doing a work that, although they didn’t disagree with, they didn’t choose to do…it was forced upon them for most of them, because of their sex and because there is a crazy dictator living a few kilometres north from them.
Let’s take a moment today to remember the lives of these 46 sailors who right now would have mostly all finished their military service and would be making others happy…
24 March, 2011
The “Misuda Adventure” Part 1
Misuda? What type of alcohol is that? You might wonder…
Misuda is short for “Minyeodeului Suda” (미녀들의수다) a Korean talk show which roughly translates as “Chit chat of the beauties”. The show aired from October 2006 through April 2010. It’s concept: 16 foreign women who all speak Korean, from beginner to expert. The subjects: anything that is discussable on Korean TV! Presented on KBS2, the national channel of South Korea, Misuda became a phenomenon often hated but also greatly loved by the South Koreans. I was a part of this great adventure, but it definitely didn’t look like it was going to be a success from the beginning…
In August of 2006, I was packing my bags for a complete year of study abroad in South Korea. Excited as a little girl on Christmas, I was also very scared, but a good scare. I had been into Korean pop culture for so many years that I just couldn’t wait to actualize my dream of living for a year in Seoul, the capital city of South Korea. I knew so many singers and their song lyrics, that I probably came off as a real freak…but I was very passionate about it. Also, I watched a bunch of Korean soap operas and had learned the “hangeul”, the Korean alphabet, so that I could sing my favourite songs at the Montreal Korean karaoke. I think I was ready.
Of course, when I got there it was another story…a country is never EXACTLY like it is represented in its pop culture and even if I knew that, I was still a little shocked! At first it felt as if the city was very harsh and loud (Seoul is definitely a city that never sleeps and even if at first I got intimidated by it, in the end it became natural and I just loved it!). Anyway, I’ll keep my impressions of Korea for another post, let’s go on with the Misuda adventure.
I don’t remember exactly when the email from school came , but I know it was in the first 3 weeks of my stay in Korea because I was still living at my friend’s house. I didn’t even have a cell phone! So I was at home and got an email from the school, the Mentors Club, which is a group that pairs Korean students with foreign students for language exchanges. The email said that we had an opportunity to be on TV for a one time special show for the holidays and that it was open to foreigners, even the ones who didn’t speak Korean. I was very surprised and eager to know more, because most of my references came from Korean TV. A little later in the week, another email came, saying “Oh, well actually, you have to be a girl, and you have to speak Korean, sorry…” I was now insecure. My Korean was pretty limited. I knew how to say “I love you” in a hundred ways, thanks to Korean power ballads, but I couldn’t really express myself in complete sentences. Still, I gave it a shot and called the number of the writer at KBS. I don’t remember the conversation, but I actually managed to get myself an interview with them. Luckily for me, the TV station was very close from my friend’s house. I was all set and ready to meet the script writers…
As I went in the office of the writers, I saw a bunch of Asian girls getting out. I was told later that they were from Mongolia…they never appeared on the show…So I sat with the chief writer and the other writers looking at me around the desk. It was intimidating, but I really wanted to be on TV (ah, the things you’ll do). She asked a bunch of questions but as I didn’t have a lot of anecdotes in Korea, all I could tell her were my first impressions. I think what killed them is when I started to enumerate all the singers I knew, they just didn’t believe it…I was like this encyclopedia of Kpop. That’s probably what got me in, as most white foreigners knew very little about Kpop back then.
School started a little afterwards and I got the phone call telling me I’d be shooting the show with them at the end of September so that the show could be aired on the Korean Thanksgiving, which on that year was at the beginning of the month of October. I was very excited and also learned that two girls from my Korean class were to be on it too, Clara from the US and Vivian from Singapore. I would end up being very close with the latter. Before the shooting, we would have to meet up with the production team and answer many questions on the phone so that they could build up a script and an outline for the show. I suddenly felt that my Korean was improving every day and that I’d have no problem at the meeting…but god was I wrong.
The first meeting we had with the team and the other girls from the show was a disaster for Vivian and I. We were sitting in a room and the producers and writers would ask questions to us but our Korean was so limited that we ended up being very silent in front of the other girls who had been in Korea for 2, 3,4 some even 10 years! After that the whole idea of going on TV seemed like a bad idea…but I consoled myself by thinking how awesome it would be to meet celebrities. How shallow ;)
Fortunately for us on the day of the meeting, the producer got us a spot in the audience of that day’s Music Bank, a weekly music show showing off the latest Korean songs, sometimes live, sometimes lipsynced. I had fun, it did break the magic a little bit, but I got to see Koyote, a dance/pop group with a really goofy but charming singer, Kim Jong Min.
I took a few photos, which was obviously prohibited but none of the middle school girls seemed to care either. On that day The Trax, Lee SeungGi, Park Jung Ah, Lim Jeong Hee, Paran and some others came on. It was a nice first look at Korean celebrities from up close and at that time I felt like I was on the moon. When I look at it now, it feels like I was over exaggerating, but it was something I was very passionate about. I just had no idea that I would end up on the other side of the camera for many years…
Tune in for part 2! My first experience on a Korean TV set…full of drama, as usual!
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